Thankful for Eddy

My mind started rolling the other day and I kept getting annoyed and then thankful...annoyed...and then thankful. So, what got me started was when the pest control guy came over to pay us a special visit because after 2 treatments since May, we still have spiders and silverfish roaming around the house, and both Nicolas and Alex have been bitten by spiders. So, anyway, the guy was a young, fresh Hispanic dude who exuded machismo. He introduced himself, and after seeing both my boys, he said, "oh I have a 2 week old." So, I proceeded to say, "oh you must be really tired," to which he responded, "nah, girl, I gotta work. My wife gets up." That's when everything started for me. Initially, I was annoyed with the idea. I would have never been able to make it through my first few weeks at home if Eddy didn't get up to help at least with changing diapers and then handing the boys to me to feed mostly due to my c-section recovery, but also due to the infection I had with Alex, the raging hormones of course, and having to deal with a crazy toddler (who gave up nap time at the same time of his brother's birth) after Nico was born.

I can't imagine what my life would be like if I didn't have the support I had from Eddy following the births of both of our sons and now our lives as a family. After Alex, I was in grad school and suffered with a lot of postpartum anxiety that wouldn't allow me to sleep and made me a very cranky mother. So, Eddy took most nightly duties waking up with Alex. We were fortunate that Alex slept through the night by 2 months occasionally and permanently by 3 months. With Nicolas, I didn't have any problems with anxiety (probably because I already knew what to expect) but Eddy still helped me with middle of the night feedings like a trooper.

So, after being annoyed with the obnoxious pest control guy all day, I decided to change my perspective and realize how lucky I am to have my hubs and even feel a little sympathy for him that he married a crazy, obsessive-compulsive person like me. We both have our fair share of compulsive behaviors but after 6 1/2 years married, we've come to embrace one another's quirks and still love each other more and more every day. :)

Our lives are filled with sacrificing of sleep, food (not because we can't afford it thankfully but because someone is always calling for one of us during meal time,) and alone time but we make it a point to try and make time for ourselves as a couple and alone time which is usually in the form of working out in the a.m. before both boys wake up. Ahhh, the joys of parenting! Did I mention how much the hubs rocks!?

Stresses of a working mother

So, I wanted to piggyback off of my post yesterday so that my working parent friends understand that I know how stressful it is to be a working parent and don't feel as though I was saying that being a SAHM is harder than being a working mother by any means. What I meant was that there can be more stress involved with being at home, albeit different. Here's what we contended with that we no longer have to worry about now that I'm home:

1. Alex getting sick constantly and having to take time off during a time when taking vacation days was not a luxury I could afford (we had a sickly daycare kid and now he has asthma.)

2. It was sooo hard to get quality alone time with the hubby. We were so busy catching up on time missed with Alex that we definitely put our marriage second.

3. The hustle and bustle of working life (commuting, fitting grocery shopping, laundry, housekeeping into the limited time at home, etc.) 

I'm thankful to be at home with both of my boys but the gratitude quickly gets murky while I'm trying to maintain my patience, teach my children right from wrong, keep the peace between the boys, work on preschool activities with Alex, cooking meals, cleaning up, doing laundry, taking the boys out to get exercise and interact with other children, and the list goes on and on. 

I was a much happier and more patient mother to be around when I was working I guess because I felt like I was contributing financially to my family while doing something I loved and knowing that Alex was getting to interact with other children all day in an environment that was encouraging him to be a big boy. Anyway, I'm sure everybody has their own idea of stress and being a mother but like I said in my last post, being a parent is a stressful thing.

When life gets tough, a little Mexican hot chocolate can help!

Mama had a trying day today so I was craving chocolate but not quite anything substantial so I went to old faithful, Popular Mexican hot chocolate. I absolutely recognize that the heat index is way over 100º here in South Texas, but the AC inside coupled with all the stress from taking care of two very rambunctious little boys had me feeling cold enough to crave a warm cup of yummy goodness. I highly recommend it over Abuelita hot chocolate only because my Mexican abuelita only made me Popular. I swear I'm not getting paid.

So, I obviously had a stressful day and what stuck in my head the entire day was for the brief 10 minutes that I was able to watch TV this morning (Nicolas was down for a nap and Alex was in time out in his room) I was watching the View and I couldn't help but get extremely aggravated with Joy Behar (somebody I highly respect) when she challenged Bethenny Frankel's statement that being a stay at home mother is stressful. Bethenny retracted and said, "well I guess it's not stressful, but..." followed by non-verbal language demonstrating a person pulling her hair out.

As much as I love Joy, homelady needs to be checked. I thought about it all day, and for those of us who don't take our children to "Mother's Day Out" or who don't have any help aside from our spouses, we carry the burden of childcare for at least 95% of the day. While I may not have the stress of the work commute, dealing with a crappy boss or coworkers, or deadlines, I have the stress of my children's safety at the forefront of my thoughts at all times. If anything were to happen to my children on my watch, it would be my responsibility and I could be punished and potentially have them taken away if God forbid something horrible happened to either of my children. So, yes, Ms. Behar, being a stay-at-home parent is stressful...more stressful than saying being a working mother who has the luxury of putting herself first even for just 20 to 40 hours a week. I'll get off my soapbox shortly but I have done both--working mom and stay at home and hands down, being a stay at home mother is harder. The dynamics of a marriage change such that a majority of the childcare burden is placed on the parent that is not working and one must be an advocate for their sanity (regularly scheduled "alone" or "adult" outings, etc.) In all fairness, being a SAHM to only 1 child was much easier than being a working mother.

Working was really hard on us and we find that having me at home is much better for our family. I often wish that I could go back to work just to get a mental break but I've come to realize that babies grow up way too fast and we'll never get the time back. So, I highly respect all working moms. My mom was a working mom and I'm convinced that she was Superwoman because she did it all.


In conclusion, being a parent is stressful. My theory is that the more children you have, the more stressful it gets. Today was obviously a difficult day but it was made easier when Eddy came home from his CE dinner which coincided with Nico falling asleep and Eddy took over Alex duty. So, what did I do with my small break????? Well, you're reading it. :)