So, I obviously had a stressful day and what stuck in my head the entire day was for the brief 10 minutes that I was able to watch TV this morning (Nicolas was down for a nap and Alex was in time out in his room) I was watching the View and I couldn't help but get extremely aggravated with Joy Behar (somebody I highly respect) when she challenged Bethenny Frankel's statement that being a stay at home mother is stressful. Bethenny retracted and said, "well I guess it's not stressful, but..." followed by non-verbal language demonstrating a person pulling her hair out.
As much as I love Joy, homelady needs to be checked. I thought about it all day, and for those of us who don't take our children to "Mother's Day Out" or who don't have any help aside from our spouses, we carry the burden of childcare for at least 95% of the day. While I may not have the stress of the work commute, dealing with a crappy boss or coworkers, or deadlines, I have the stress of my children's safety at the forefront of my thoughts at all times. If anything were to happen to my children on my watch, it would be my responsibility and I could be punished and potentially have them taken away if God forbid something horrible happened to either of my children. So, yes, Ms. Behar, being a stay-at-home parent is stressful...more stressful than saying being a working mother who has the luxury of putting herself first even for just 20 to 40 hours a week. I'll get off my soapbox shortly but I have done both--working mom and stay at home and hands down, being a stay at home mother is harder. The dynamics of a marriage change such that a majority of the childcare burden is placed on the parent that is not working and one must be an advocate for their sanity (regularly scheduled "alone" or "adult" outings, etc.) In all fairness, being a SAHM to only 1 child was much easier than being a working mother.
Working was really hard on us and we find that having me at home is much better for our family. I often wish that I could go back to work just to get a mental break but I've come to realize that babies grow up way too fast and we'll never get the time back. So, I highly respect all working moms. My mom was a working mom and I'm convinced that she was Superwoman because she did it all.
In conclusion, being a parent is stressful. My theory is that the more children you have, the more stressful it gets. Today was obviously a difficult day but it was made easier when Eddy came home from his CE dinner which coincided with Nico falling asleep and Eddy took over Alex duty. So, what did I do with my small break????? Well, you're reading it. :)
1 comment:
Amen. Amen. Amen. I've been daydreaming lately of careers. It sounds like such a vacation. I think the reality is that when you become a SAHM expectations change. We don't use a dry cleaner anymore. We dont eat out as often. We have much less extracurricular stuff to keep us busy and relaxed. We were looking at old pictures and noticing how messy our house used to be. The only reason it isnt now is because I'm at home I feel responsible to keep it clean. Joy needs a reality check. I'm sure we would differ on how many things she needs one on, but seriously... I have three kids who would love to give her a run for her money if she wants to come spend a few days "taking it easy"....
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