We had a sweet quiet dinner with Tio Roly, Tia Marissa, Grandpa, Daddy, and Mama tonight to celebrate Tio's 32nd birthday. Alex wanted to sing Happy Birthday to Tio all day and finally got to start singing it before he got too shy. :-)
Today I am 38 weeks, 2 days preggo, and I am still riding an emotional roller coaster. I have managed to keep my cranky pants in check, but I have been very nervous every time we leave the house that I might go into labor. I've been bad about carrying my hospital papers and bag with me so I guess I really need to start doing that. As a natural worrier, I have increasingly been worrying about Alex's transition to big brotherhood. He is not very attached to me in general, but he has started to become more attached since I've been at home with him.
Tonight, I had a breakdown because as we started taking out the baby items in preparation for Nicolás (pack n play, swing, bouncer, etc.,) Alex started trying to play with them (they use to be his so I don't blame the guy.) I started to explain to him that we are getting ready for his baby brother to come home (as I've been doing for the past months,) and he began to cry uncontrollably. He started to calm down when I had him sit next to me on the couch but he wasn't okay until Eddy sat on his other side and reassured him too. Ugh, that has been my biggest worry this entire pregnancy: that Alex will have a hard time transitioning. At the end of the day, I know worrying won't accomplish anything but it still breaks my heart. I'm worried that my c-section recovery will keep me from giving Alex the attention and affection he needs from me. He is after all a man and needs constant reassurance despite not being an affectionate kid. He's also rough and is hitting a lot lately so I know we will need a lot of discipline and structure, which I know won't be easy with a newborn in the house and no sleep on behalf of mommy and daddy.
I just have to pray that all will go smoothly. At the end of the day, I am very excited to be meeting Nicolás soon, and we will all adjust in due time. In the meantime, I will enjoy every minute of my time with Alex.
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